Monday, November 21, 2011

Life is Circular

It was only three months ago I was commenting to PT how I would do things differently if I found myself back in similar circumstance as I was in during 2010... After all hindsight is 20/20.

Just a matter of days after making those remarks, I found myself back in the situation I had referenced. Since then, I have done things differently. Don't get me wrong, there are some things that are the same, but I have definitely changed my approach as well. During all this, I failed to notice that there was another pattern repeating itself in my life. One I hadn't seen in a decade. It was a significant event that without a doubt goes on the very, very short life regrets list.

When I was last here, I didn't speak up and let my thoughts and feelings be known - I was too afraid. I kept waiting for "the right moment." That right moment never came. So, when I finally recognized this time what was happening, I once again had a decision to make: 1) Be afraid and say nothing; or 2) Let go of the life "oh shit" bar and see what happens. I mean I have a parachute with me, so no matter what the outcome is, I know I'll land safely.

In life, there are patterns in our life that are repetitive in nature; like circles. Part of our job is to identify those patterns and figure out if they are worth staying the course or deciding to break them and chart a new path.

In my case I have, once again, decided to do things differently. I let go of the oh shit bar and am currently in a free-fall. I've been upfront about my thoughts, and feelings, not leaving anything to question. I don't know what the final outcome of all this will be, but as I wait for the signal to deploy my chute so I can steer myself to the part of the landing field meant for me, I fall knowing that I took ownership of the situation and did something about it instead of sitting back and letting life steer me to my destination.

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