For as long as I can remember I've mostly been told what I wasn't capable of doing.
If I had to guess why this was the case I'd say it had to do with the fact that I did a lot of things later than my peers - I started walking late, talking late (which at this point I think I've made up for many times over), etc. Additionally, I think my learning disability made some around me feel that it was better to limit me than to push me with the chance that I might fail. Whatever the reason, I don't remember many times that I was told "you can."
Despite my tenacious nature, and unwillingness to settle for just anything I'm handed, I still to some degree carry around with me the voices of those naysayers, and their influence on me periodically is visible in the actions I take - or should I say don't take.
If there is any lesson that I've taken away from this year it's that for me establishing goals is important. Wait . . . let me back-up here a minute... It's not necessarily a lesson I just learned, but more one I put away for in a closet for awhile. Nonetheless, it is part of what makes me, me.
I recognize I've said this time and time again in my posts (and am beginning to sound like a broken record), but around this time of year especially it is something that is on my mind - a lot. As the end of 2011 lingers, my thoughts have turned to thinking about all the things I'd like to accomplish in 2012.
Oh, all the possibilities!!!
Yesterday, while I was texting with S, we began to discuss our respective Turkey Trot runs we had just completed on Thanksgiving and our goals for next year's trot. (Yes, this is the same race that just two weeks ago I hemmed and hawed over joining because I told myself I couldn't do it as I hadn't been running that much recently due to a bad cold.) That's when the conversation turned to how amazing it is that we've only been at this for less than six months as we have both come so far in a short period of time. It's seems so unreal as just completing one race was always one of those things that was on the "Can't List" for both of us.
Ah, yes... the Can't List. For anyone who might not know what this is, the "Can't List" is a list of thing that have been talked about time and time and time again, but is never really serious considered because surely it "can't" be accomplished. Sadly, this list is not a stranger to me. I've carried around this list for some time, and I'm afraid is longer than I'd prefer it to be. However, when S asked me what "can't" goal I planned to work towards in 2012 it took me awhile to think of one. I don't know why, but after taking action on seriously considering law school and running in a 5k race (my two biggest "can'ts) I seriously couldn't think of what other goals took up residence on the list. After giving it some further thought, I have since come up with a few ideas of what is on the agenda for 2012... Actually, I can't stop myself from getting excited about what is ahead for me in this coming year. (More on this coming Wednesday.)
My last thought on all this is that I think I need to rename this list all together. The word "can't," in this context, leaves such a yucky, blah feeling and doesn't reflect the excitement I feel when I think of all the experiences to come.