Friday, December 9, 2011

All this just adds to my ongoing identity crisis

The other night at derby practice we had a new ref join us. When I introduced myself to this individual, I told him my name was Tracey. His reply to me went something like, "Hi Tracey... Ruthie?, I'm Wes." Though I had told him my "real" name he questioned me as the track jacket I was wearing declared I was someone else - "Ruthie RibIt."

As we took our places for the scrimmage portion of practice, I thought about the pause, and name correction, the new had made during our introduction. Though I'm use to hearing people call me by my derby name at practice I am not use to introducing myself by that name.

This incident has since found a home in the back of my brain. I can't help but think about my inability to remember who I am when I'm around my derby dames. I blame it my absenteeism over the past couple of weeks (some circumstances in my life have prevented me from getting on skates recently). I mean if I'm not around it on a frequent basis how am I suppose to know who I am there, right?! It's not like my friends and family call me by my derby name when we're hanging out.

Long before I started blogging, I've been known as Froggie. I took on the idenity when I first joined a HR networking community many, many, years ago. I didn't want my user name to anything associated with my real name and knew something frog related would be most appropriate as I've loved frog stuff for as long as I could remember. I always thought Froggie was a cute name and spelled it with an "ie" because it was unique, just like I am in real life. When I began to blog, I decided to hide behind the name as a way to protect my identity. Not that I had anything to hide, but it was a way to keep my real life and blogging life separate - only to be connected by the stories I share.

However, somehow being Froggie has become a part of who I am in real life. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I failed at my initial intent to keep my first blog strictly knitting related. Slowly, but surely, overtime it became more and more about me and my life in general. So, I guess in some way it only makes sense that what followed this transformation of my blog was having my friends call me Froggie in real life. Not many people do this, but it isn't totally unheard of. It took some getting use to, but overtime I got use to it. Actually, in some odd way, it's become my mascot.

I guess the same will happen with my derby identity as well. One day, without hesitation or giving it a second thought, I will introduce myself as Ruthie at a bout or derby related event. Who knows, maybe I will even introduce myself that way outside of derby one day as well.

Until that day comes, I'll definitely have to keep my track jacket, and other derby gear advertising my derby awesomeness, close by so I don't let the identity crisis I appear to be having get the better of me.

1 comment:

  1. i know what you mean. i used to go by "magenta" so often in college (thanks to rocky horror) that my friends' parents called me that name too. they even got other people who barely knew me into the habit. lol! i can't even identify with being called "magenta" anymore. it just isn't me now.