Thursday, July 24, 2014

To My October 12, 2014 Self

Dear Self,

As I write this note to you I do so with the assumption that you felt confident in your racing abilities that you showed up to the start line of the 2014 Chicago Marathon.  I make the assumption you haven't had any injuries preventing you from running, nor did you just flat out give up during the training process.

I think about you a lot these days because right now all this f*@kin' training is driving me so bat-shit crazy and tired that I want to give up.  I wonder wtf I was thinking when I entered the lottery for the marathon and then after getting the notification I had got a lottery space actually accepting it.    Seriously, lately I wonder what I smoking when I decided that attempting a marathon was a good idea.

Then, once I get past all these negative thoughts, I refocus.  I think about the person I will be on October 12, 2014 - I wonder about who you are as a person at that exact moment.  See, as you know, not only am I training for the marathon right now, but I'm also going through some big changes at the same time.  Regardless of how they turn out with all these thing, I can say with the utmost confidence each one will surely change me ... and change me for the better, I believe.  In many ways the theme of this summer, and even this year, is stepping vastly out of my comfort zone and beginning a new life.  It's for this reason I understand why all these things are taking place all at once, despite my dislike of lots of change taking place all at once.

I believe all that I am going through now is happening as a way to prepare me to take my life to the next level - personally and professionally.  At first stepping outside my comfort zone scared me, and still does to some degree.  When I'm tired from the overly boring "wash, rinse, repeat" life I've been living the past 8 weeks or so I begin to think that it's not worth the struggle.  Then, something will happen that gives me a glimpse of myself in action.  A glimpse of me I have never seen before, but always knew was inside of me.  I'd say this is what I need to remember onto when I'm dreading my weekly long-run or upset because I have to say "No" once again to plans with my friends so I can get in my run, but it's just not THAT easy.  Of course, this is something you already know.

So, dear self on October 12, 2014, I look forward to meeting you in the not so distant future.  Until then, I will not only try to remember that "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone," but also try as much as I can to embrace it for it is this idea that is currently moving me forward.

I wish you the best at the marathon and hope you accomplish your one goal for it.  I look forward to meeting you soon!

With lots of love,
Me

The topic I gave the Thursday Blog Project group for July 10th was, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."  Now that you've read my take on the topic, please take a moment to see what my
fellow bloggers had to say on it:

Momarock (Sara)

Merryland Girl (Melissa)

Darwin Shrugged (Denise)

4 comments:

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    1. Mel - Ha! I thought you might. :) Thanks!

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  2. I love this! You are an inspiration, Tracey!

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    1. Sara, you are the inspiration. Are chat awhile back is what gave me the idea to write this post and it really helped me get off my mind everything I've been feeling. From the bottom of my heart... thank you!!!

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