Friday, June 6, 2014

"The Worst Mistake I Ever Made"

For many, many.... MANY years a lot of people have been telling me that I needed to be in the city.  I understood why this was the case.  I didn't fit the suburban demographic - married with children.  Furthermore, I was one of six Jewish individuals (I'm sure there are more than just six, but it makes it sound more dramatic and funny if there are only six) living in a predominantly, Christian suburb.  However, over the years I stood firm to the idea that I wasn't a city chick.  That is until late 2012/early 2013.  I'm not sure exactly what prompted the shift in my opinion, but I believe it happened about 2 years earlier.  Whatever it was that prompted my yearning to move to the city, I could no longer ignore it.  So, I spent the spring of 2013 looking for a place to live - and I found one.

The weeks leading up to my move were stressful... very, very, very stressful.  Not only was I trying to go through my life trying to decide whether or not it came with me or got thrown away, I was also dealing with the unknown of living in urban area.  Sure, I had hung out in my particular area many times, but this time it would be MY area.  I would give up the running trail I loved so much, for street running.  The places I could afford weren't as nice as the one I was leaving behind, but I still looked at it with the hope of making it into a nice home for me and Elsie.

Moving day was a complete and utter clusterfuck that did not help my state of mind.  Anything and everything seemed to be going wrong... that is until it started going right.  However, before the "right" part happen, I was a mess and instead of trying to pull myself together so I could rally through I just let myself dive into the mess further by sitting on the floor, against one of the walls of what would soon be "my old place" and began to cry.  During this cry-fest I proclaimed - "This was the worst mistake I ever made!!!!!!"

A mistake I couldn't take back.  I was stuck. I was stuck in a lease for the next 12 months.

Once moved in and trying to get settled into my new home (at least in theory) I continued to see the move as an epic fail on my part.  It seemed that no matter what I tried, nothing made me feel that things would be better and that I had made a good decision.  I was so convinced of this I seriously contemplated subleasing the place and hauling my butt back to the burbs.  However, a friend of mine asked me to do them a favor.  They asked me to give it until the end of the summer.  If I still felt like the city wasn't for me then, and only then, they said I should move.  After giving it some thought, I promised myself, and my friend, that I would give it until the end of the summer; however, I was sure I'd be packing up after that and heading back.

That was a year ago.

I'm not sure when or how it happened, but over time I have not only adapted to city life, I've embraced it.  To say I enjoy living in the city and the place I chose to live is an understatement.  Sure, city life isn't perfect and I'd like a "better" place, however right now I can say with full confidence I am where I am suppose to be.  More importantly, I know the decision to move to the city has made me happier in life overall.

At the end of the day, it is funny to think how one of the things I've considered "the worst mistakes I mistakes I've ever made" (my topic for this week's Thursday blog project) has turned out to really be one of the best decisions I've ever made.

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Now that I've told you about one of the "worst" mistakes I've ever made, please take a moment to see what my fellow bloggers have to say about their worst mistakes:

Momarock (Sara)

Merryland Girl (Melissa)

Darwin Shrugged (Denise)

4 comments:

  1. Glad you don't see it as a mistake anymore. I love your apartment in the city and I'm glad you've adapted to city life. :)

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    1. I'm so happy you, hubby and the boys were able to see my place. I LOVED how E and M were obsessed with getting Elsie to come out from under the bed.

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  2. I really liked your take on this, Tracey. And from seeing you in person, I could tell that you had city life wrapped up, hands down. Great post!

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    1. Thanks, Sara! I laugh now about the fact that I thought I had made this uber, massive mistake. Especially since it has turned out to be one of the best decisions I've ever made.

      I'm so glad I was able to meet y'all while you were in town!

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