Thursday, April 17, 2014

Miss Self-Absorbed

This week for the Thursday Blog Project, Denise asked us to answer the question: Can a person be too nice?

I struggled with this post up until the very last minute of writing it for multiple reasons.  If you take the actual question "as is" then it's as simple as saying "yes" or "no".  However, it's not that simple of a question. Once you take a position I feel you have to then take a position on why you feel a particular way.  Because I am who I am, while I was contemplating my approach to the topic I asked a few of my friends the question.  As I suspected, I got a vast array of answers.

All this got me thinking about a lunch and learn I went to in February about Altruism and Taking Care of Ones Self.  It was conducted by Rabbi Anthony Manning and focused on what the Torah says about this topic.

When I learned about this seminar I signed up IMMEDIATELY as I struggle with this, a lot, since I've been criticized in the past about being too self-absorbed.  Though this hasn't come up in sometime, it still haunts me.  I still fear that I'm not caring enough about those around me and that I should be doing way more.  Rather than worrying if I'm too nice, I worry I'm not being nice enough.

I'm thankful I had the chance to attend such a presentation.  It put my mind at ease some and answered a lot of questions I had.  It also made me wonder if I was being too nice by worrying about if I was being nice enough.  I also have my BFF to ground me when it comes to getting consumed by balancing altruism and taking care of myself.  For instances, my BFF thinks I'm too nice sometimes, and will tell me when I'm being too nice.  She doesn't want to see me take a hit for something I shouldn't.  Furthermore, I think sometimes she thinks I spend too much time and energy being too nice to others and not as nice as I should be to myself... but that's just my speculation.

Other interesting conversations that have spurred from this question focused on whether someone who is too nice is being truly authentic or genuine and if people who are too nice are perceived as less intelligent than those that are not.  I'm thankful Denise gave us this topic because it's given me something thought provoking to explore with those I keep company with on a regular basis and whose thoughts I greatly value.

Now that I've shared my thoughts on the matter, please take a moment to see what my fellow bloggers have to say on the matter:

Momarock (Sara)

Merryland Girl (Melissa)

Darwin Shrugged (Denise)


  1. This topic was very thought-provoking for me as well. You've just added to it. :) Great post!