Thursday, October 31, 2013

Rip Off the Band Aid!

At the first writing retreat I ever attended (back in May 2012) we were asked to write about the thing we were most scared to write about.  Out of that exercise came one of the greatest pieces I've ever written and was the start of the infamous book I keep mentioning that I'm writing.

Today, I am revisiting the idea of writing about fear thanks to Denise's (Darwin Shrugged) blog project suggestion: Slightly in honor of Halloween, I'd like us to write about facing a fear -- one we've faced, one we've yet to faced, etc.

This week has been a crap storm of shit.  The thing is that I knew it would be one.  Actually I planned it that way.  Let me explain... 

For a couple of months I've had "issues" piling up that I've just ignored mostly due to my intent to have a rockin' summer.  However, since the arrival of Fall these things have been weighing on my shoulders.  Since I knew I would be escaping my world for a bit I decided before I did I would finally "rip off the band aid" in regards to the issues I've been pushing aside this whole time.  So, after a fantastic weekend of fun and friends I started to peel away.

The first rip was a recent issue that came up.  Someone I know was arrested in July and recently their spouse texted me asking for a character reference.  I'd like to say I know exactly what the character reference was for, but I can't.  They didn't get that specific in the request.  Now, I like to think that I'm a nice person and would do what I could for most another, but this, in my humble opinion, is such a HUGE favor and there is a SUPER SHORT list of people I would this for.  It was for that reason, and a few others I won't get into, that I said I couldn't.  However, I didn't reply back to this text right away.  I delayed doing so as I felt bad about saying no.  Finally, Monday morning before my yoga class I ripped off the band aid on that matter and replied back with my answer.  Of course they wanted to know why, but I didn't feel a justification was needed. Sadly, this was the easiest of all the band aid ripping that would need to be done.

The next band aid to be ripped off was the hardest of top three band aids that needed ripping.  I needed to have a long overdue heart-to-heart with a friend of mine.  This one I feared the most as I don't like confrontation.  But, alas it needed to be done.  The person in question took what I had to say fairly well.  At least that I could tell. (They could have been putting on a good front.)  We have a bit more discussion, but I'm not looking forward with that either, however it needs to be done.. so I will face that fear in order to move forward.

Lastly was my car.  It needed some repairs I've been putting off.  Especially since one of them involved the dreaded "check engine" light.  (Seriously, I know no one who likes seeing that light go on as it could me a repair costing as little as just a bit over $100 up to thousands of dollars.)  If the repair was on the high-side of the spectrum I would have had to seriously consider getting a new car all together.  (Not a bad thing, but not something I want to do at this very moment.)  Also, I've had some other large expenses lately which doesn't help things.  Kind of the "when it rains it pours" type of thing.

Overall, I think I'm managing through my fear of ripping off these band aids pretty well.  I've had my moments, but not too many of them.  The two greatest lessons I've learned from doing this is: 

1) Though unpleasant to face, by not facing stressful/situations you are fearful of you end up carrying around a lot of stress.  This of course is not healthy.  

2)  It's not easy as it might look to be the one "ripping off the band aid."  Especially if it involves someone you truly care about.

It helps that my friends have been super supportive (especially in regards to the heart-to-heart situation as they know how difficult this one has been for me), and I appreciate it more than I could ever tell them.   

My crap storm week is almost over!  Thankfully, I was able to have "some" fun this week and I also have a fun weekend planned as a reward for dealing with the above mentioned stuff.  


Now that I've talked about facing some of my fears, please see what my fellow bloggers have to say:

Now that I've talked my fear of ripping off band aids, please see what my fellow bloggers have to say on this topic:

Momarock (Sara)

Merryland Girl (Melissa)

Darwin Shrugged (Denise)


  1. I completely agree that facing the fear reduces the stress. Sure, it creates its own stress but, in the end, that goes away.

    Enjoy your break!

  2. I've found that sometimes in facing my fear, I find it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I often work myself up and get all dramatic when I know I have to rip the band-aid off. I also have a hard time saying no, because I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. I hope I'll get to read your book someday, Tracey!