Saturday, September 21, 2013

Looking Forward

For several months now, I've been writing about moving forward.  In someways I've been writing about this topic on my blog, but when I say I've been writing about moving forward I think more about the book I'm writing.  The thing is that while I've been writing about moving forward for my book, I've been thinking A LOT over the past couple of month (pretty much since I moved) about looking forward.

Part of writing my book about moving forward has been focused on taking a look back.  I chuckle inside when I say that because the idea of moving forward and looking back seem to contradict each other - at least that is the way it appears to me.  However, I think looking back at who I was and the journey I've taken get to where I am now had an important role in making my move happen.  It may sound cheesy and trite, but moving was a HUGE leap of faith for me.  I had paralyzed myself for a long time in many ways from taking the steps I needed to take to progress and grow in my life and to actually do one of the things I felt needed to happen was hard for me to finally pull the trigger on.

Immediately after I moved this past summer I was sure I had made a huge mistake as a lot of the things that shaped my life weren't staying with me.  Yes, I recognize that I was the one who moved and that has an effect on things.  However, it was the internal optimist in me that hoped that a lot of the things that were dear to me would make the transition with me.  When they didn't that scared me since I wasn't sure what that meant in terms of what would be in store for me going forward.  How long would it be until I met new people I got a long with... I mean really go along with?  Would new opportunities professionally come my way?  How would this move change me?  These were all amongst the questions I had.  Then, in late June, as I walked away from saying good-bye to another lost friendship (or at least what I believe to be another lost friendship) I found my mindset shift in a way it hadn't ever before.  Though I was sad about losing this person I found my mind telling me it was just the universe's way of making room for new people to come into it.  Though it didn't make me feel THAT much better at that moment about the lost friendship, it help a lot more than one would ever expect.  (AND consequently, new people did come into my life not that long after.)

The fall month are typically very reflective for me.  Of course  Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur surely are a catalyst for this reflectiveness.  Other things drive along these thoughts as well and as much as I'm still looking back and thinking about moving forward, because my book is nowhere near done as I would like it to be, I now badly want to just look forward and focus as much as I can on the present and future. 

Much like the story of how I moved forward, it's now time to focus on what I hope this new story of my life will look like and figure out how I'm going to get there. It's for that reason I periodically pinch myself as all those years ago when I was focusing on moving forward did I think that the day would come that I would say I was looking forward in such a way as I do today.

1 comment:

  1. I enjoyed reading your reflections. When one of my friends cut me out of her life for no good reason, another friend came into my life shortly after. I sometimes think that it was meant to be that way....the one friend making room for the other. I do wish the one friend were still around but I also think "her loss." Also, your move was a lot closer in proximity to your old place than my last couple of moves have been. The friends that want to stay in our lives will do so no matter the distance, whether it's 20 miles or 2000 miles. (Case in point, the two coolest women I know who are still best friends after 25 years. ;) )