The idea for this particular week's post came from one of the people who helped me during this process. She was telling me that finding a place to live is like finding a mate. In this particular case she was trying to convince me to stop looking because she felt I found "the one"; however, in my eyes that wasn't the case so I continued to look.
While I was looking I started to make a list of all the ways looking for a place to live is like finding a mate. From this came the idea of putting together one of my long forgotten "bullet points posts". So, I incorporated it into a Thursday Blog Project topic. Everyone was tasked with the following: I ***HEART*** bullet points. The first couple of years that I blogged, I use to do "thoughts" post where I used bullet points. So, I'm asking you to do a bullet points post. Use no less than 5, but no more than 10. The post itself can be about anything you want, not necessarily a "thoughts" post. You just have to use bullet points in the post.
So, without further ado, here are my observations on looking for a place to live and looking for a mate:
• Trust your gut.
During one searching outing, I was on my way to look at this place and all the sudden I found myself clutching my purse a little bit tighter than normal and scoping out the area around me more intently. Also, I started to consider just turning around and calling the realtor dude to tell him I wasn't gonna make it. Instead I went and saw the place knowing that I wasn't comfortable in the area. After checking out the place, I texted a friend who had warned me about sketchy areas of this particular neighborhood as it use to be her old stomping ground. After giving her some intersections she replied back, "Yeah, that is a questionable area."
I've had this same reaction on dates, too. Not necessarily clutching my purse... more the whole going on the date hoping to prove my gut wrong. Let's just say, that didn't end in successful either.
• It's a binding, legal contract - so read the fine print!
Ok, dating isn't a legal contract, but marriage is. There are many well-off divorce attorneys because of this fact. Whether you are renting/leasing, subletting or buying you are entering into a legal contract. Understanding what you're responsibilities are and the responsibilities of the landlord, seller, etc. is important. In someways I feel like this is a no brainier, but it's something that should probably be emphasized.
• There is always a deal break!
When it comes to a place to live, and someone to love, Elsie is one of my deal breakers.
I gave up my first cat for a my ex, however at the time I felt like it was the right thing to do. HUGE MISTAKE. I've come to learn, the right guy will not only love me, but love any pet of mine.
Recently, during my home search, I was on the phone with one landlord who flat-out told me since his place was so in demand he didn't want any pets in the place. I'd have to find a new home for Elsie if I wanted to live there. Even though the place was a great deal in a hot neighborhood I said there was no way that was gonna happen. It killed me to say it, but I knew I wasn't about to give-up Elsie just for a place to live.
Knowing your deal breakers is important.
• Having a list of desirable amenities/qualities is great, but you're not gonna find everything you want.
Yes, your deal breakers are going to be on your list of desired amenities when you're searching for a place, but let's get real... you're not gonna find everything you're looking in one place. Nothing is perfect, including places to live.
The same goes for people. You may have an idea of the "perfect" person, but that doesn't mean you're gonna find those qualities in one person. Knowing what qualities are most important to you and what you can and can't live without is important.
• Sometimes you're surprised to find amenities/qualities you never expected to want.
Yes, you will most likely not find all the qualities of your "dream" place (mate) in one home/person. However, you might discover qualities you never thought you'd like in a place (or person) or even things you never thought of all together. In a way it's like finding a hidden gem.
• Words can paint a pretty picture.
Given my Public Relations/Marketing background and love of linguistics I am uber sensitive to how things are worded. Seriously, I've spent HOURS
Reading an ad for a place to live is, in someways, like reading a dating profile. There are buzz words and catch phrases that are use to paint a particular picture of each. For example, read the word "charming" in an ad for a place to live and it usually means small.
Yes, I understand the main goal of both is to paint a pretty picture and sell the place, but honestly when it comes to an add for a place can we just tell it like it is? As for a dating profile.... well... I think being sincere in what you write will take you a lot further than what you think people want to read.
• Why hasn't he called me back when he said he would???
This is the one leaves me perplexed.
Almost two weeks ago I thought I found "the one". The space was great, the location was great and the price was around what I wanted to pay. The place was being shown by the current tenants and I was told they'd contact the landlord about moving forward with getting a lease and all that jazz. I was also told, she was out of town so it might take a few days so it wasn't strange if I didn't hear anything until Saturday/Sunday. Ok, cool. I could deal with that. I left feeling on top of the moon. Sure, the place had some flaw, but refer to above where I talked about the fact that one place couldn't have all the things you were looking for. Fast-forward to Monday/Tuesday... After not hearing anything over the weekend, I e-mailed the current tenants asking if it was possible to have the landlord's contact information since I hadn't heard from her. To date I haven't heard a peep back. Needless to say, I'm not expecting to get the place and somewhat disappointed. I'm not exactly sure what happened between then and now, but I know I'll never know.
This isn't the first time a landlord hasn't returned my call, but since I was interested in leasing the place I would have expected to received some sort of communications.
• You'll know it when you see it.
This ties into the "trust your gut" theory.
When you walk into your new home, you'll know it. Maybe it's not in the "hot" neighborhood you were hoping to live in or be a super swanky pad, but there will be a sense of "home" that you get when you walk through the door.
As for love and dating... I've dated some interesting people who were fun to hang with at the time, but ultimately I knew they weren't "the one" for me. Then there has been the moment when I had that feeling that just might be "the one". I can't describe it, and I'm not going to tell you things will for sure end up "happily ever after". What I will say is that when you meet a person who has great potential to be "the one" you will know it. Maybe it will take you sometime to get there, but you will feel it.
Now that I've given you my thoughts on how looking for a place to live is like finding a mate, please take a moment to see what my fellow bloggers have to say:
Merryland Girl (Melissa)
Mom of Many (Susanna)